The_last_man_on_earth_2x04 -

It’s just... it's lonely out here. The world ended. Practically everyone we ever knew or loved was wiped out by a virus. And here we are, the last handful of human beings left on the giant blue marble, and I am locked in a box. We have all the space in the world, and I have about three square feet.

Citronella spray and electricity. A true sensory experience. Who needs five-star spas when you can have high-voltage shock therapy on a beach in Malibu? It's all about trust, guys! I get it! I really, truly do. (He looks up at the stars, his voice softening.) The_last_man_on_earth_2x04

(He looks off to the side, his eyes suddenly catching a flick of light. He blinks, focusing.) It’s just

(He sighs deeply, resting his chin as much as the wooden board allows.) Practically everyone we ever knew or loved was

But I’m trying to change! I’m a new Tandy. I’m the reformed Tandy. I agreed to five weeks in this dog house instead of one! That’s how committed I am to showing them that the old, lying, ball-pool-diving Phil Miller is dead and buried. I just want to sit at the table again. I want to share a block of government-issue apocalypse cheese without feeling like I need to lie about who ate the last slice.

(He chuckles nervously, but the laugh cuts short into a pained wince as he shifts his neck, nearly triggering the collar.)