Solar Cycle 4,922 (or Tuesday, depending on which janitor you ask) Location: Somewhere past the Moon, currently drifting toward "Inexplicable Doom" Yeah, so things haven't exactly gone to plan. Again.

I’m stuck with a street urchin who has the entire history of humanity crammed into her head (and won’t stop reminding us) and a janitor who smells like old socks and broken dreams.

The absolute highlight of the week? We accidentally hit the ship behind us with what can only be described as a "windshield-full of human goo." If there were a leaderboard for the biggest eff-ups in the fleet, I’d be winning. At least the Oz 9 made it past launch, which—given the state of the other ships—is practically a miracle.